Ten Ways Army Won


Here’s the thing about the Army football team: it’s reallyreally bad. As far as the score goes, Army has lost to Navy in one of the biggest rivalries in college football for the twelfth consecutive year. But if you look a little more closely, you’ll see that there are a few ways Army actually did win the game this past Saturday.

10. We didn’t wear flair on our uniforms

Navy flair...?

What is this garbage? This is not Applebee’s.

We don’t want to see your personality, Navy; we already know that it sucks.

9. We didn’t look like drunk toddlers during march-on

This happens every year. Everyone always says that Army wins the march-on, but it is so true. I’m honestly not expecting the midshipmen to look as sharp as the cadets; West Point has the Corps marching for a couple of hours each night (regardless of rain, wind or snow) the week leading up to the game to make sure they look good for the main event.

Based on Navy’s march-on performance, I’d say they prepare by giving everyone a shot of whiskey, injecting their legs with a numbing solution so they can’t walk in a straight line, then making them spin in circles for a few minutes before they get into formation.



Compared to this:

Sloppy, Navy. Sloppy.

8. We didn’t look like sullen teenagers in the stands

To be fair, would you really be interested in hanging out in Lincoln Financial Field for nine hours straight in the snow when you knew you were going to win anyway? Probably not. But I’m not here to be fair. I’m here to talk about how much better Army is than Navy (at everything but football).

An anaology:

Army fans

Navy fans

It was pretty pitiful how much they didn’t care.

7. This

This didn’t happen at the game. But these guys are in the Navy.

I’m glad I’m not in the Navy.

6. Goats

The Army mascot isn’t something majestic, like a bald eagle. Or even something super exciting and exotic, like a dinosaur (this raises the point about why aren’t more mascots big, scary dinosaurs? but that’s another question for another post). But it does look pretty good at games nonetheless.

This demon-animal is Navy’s mascot:


This is a cringe-worthy animal if ever I saw one. In fact, I’m pretty sure every time they showed the Navy goat onscreen at the game, there was a collective cringe from everyone inside Lincoln Financial Field unfortunate enough to see that scraggly, nasty thing blown up to the size of a barn.

Actually, there’s a long history of Navy mascots looking stupid next to Army’s mascots at the Army-Navy Game. Observe:

Sweet pants, Navy.

5. We weren’t bad sports.

If nothing else, losing has certainly taught us sportsmanship. Winning twelve years in a row has apparently only taught the midshipmen how to act like (pardon me) ass clowns on national television.

At the end of the game, when we sang our Alma Mater, despite the freezing rain coming down on their heavy, soaked overcoats, the cadets I saw all stood ramrod straight and sang along. Then, after it was over and we had to listen to the mids sing “Navy Blue and Gold” AGAIN, the cadets remained at attention and gave the appropriate respect to the other service academy.

Stay classy, West Point. Navy, you keep up your traditions; you don’t look at all ridiculous.

(For the record, “Navy Blue and Gold” is my least favorite song. Hearing it sung is more painful than listening to Taylor Swift songs on repeat while someone runs their nails down a chalkboard and a thousand microphones screech with feedback simultaneously.)

4. COL Ragsdale

Colonel Ragsdale loves Army football about as much as I love chocolate chip cookies, naptime, and Oxford commas…which is a lot.

You always win for high spirits when COL Ragsdale is at an Army game.

I plan on making faces like this someday when I’m in labor.

3. General Odierno

Another BAMF that Army gets to claim for their own. General Odierno was at the game on Saturday too, making everyone else on the field look like puny mortals (all football players included) and just generally being awesome. I think what I like best about General Odierno is that he takes the time to meet and speak with Soldiers, officers, cadets, and families and listen to their concerns and suggestions, but he could also turn around and kick a terrorist in the face. That’s what I want to be when I grow up: a well-groomed, friendly, badass motherfucker. I’ll have to settle for being a miniature version though, because I don’t think I’m going to grow another two or three feet in this lifetime.

Happy Ray
Happy Ray
Intellectual Ray
Intellectual Ray
Ray don't care
Ray don’t care

This is how I know he’s a good dude, because he rocks his ACU fleece with all his stars. I don’t have any stars, but I likewise enjoy wearing my ACU fleece in Arctic temperatures, such as may be found in my office at work.

Ray <3's his snuggy
Ray <3’s his snuggy

2. Former Army football players

Another thing that happened at the game that was special (and due entirely to Army being classy and full of badassery) was when these guys stood out on the field and GEN Odierno and SGM Chandler shook their hands while the announcers told the spectators who they were and what they had done. Each one was a combat veteran, and the fewest number of Bronze Stars any one of them had was three. One guy had SIX, and one for valor. Oh yeah, and they were all former Army football players.

General Odierno is a BAMF

Their stories (however brief) made me proud to be a West Pointer, an Army officer, and an American. Also I was glad (again and forever) that I’m not in the Navy.

1. Hot chocolate plus

Technically this point does not apply to Army, but since I’m in the Army and it applies to me, I’m including it, because this was my biggest win of the day (other than not being in the Navy, but that’s a win every day, hallelujah, praise the Lord).

Two years ago, when the game was in D.C., they sold hot chocolate with Bailey’s in the stadium. This year, in Philly, they did not.

But I came prepared.

Always ready

The only real upside that I found to wearing enough clothing to last me a week at one time just to stay warm was that there was plenty of space to hide miniature bottles of alcohol. Great success.

I alternated the whole game between this:

And this:

(click for animation)


Bonus point:

This hat.

Just no.
Just no.

I saw four of these at the game on Saturday. I don’t know why the Navy fans think it’s a good idea to wear this horrifying thing on their heads, but I was certainly relieved not to see any mules bobbing through the crowd on the heads of Army fans.

Manfriend summed it up pretty well: “That’s one of those things where you can’t decide if you should put a picture of it online so everyone can see it and know how not-okay it is…or we should burn them all, so no one ever has to see that hat again.”

The really bad news is that this is not a niche item. If it was one of those things that someone had made so there were only two or three of these monstrosities in the world, it might not be so bad. Tragically, however, these little horrors are available for only twenty bucks: it’s true!

We won just by not having any of our fans wear anything this horrendous.


Don’t get me wrong: I hate Navy. I hate their team. I hate their songs. I hate the way they whoop at us. I hate their ugly goats. I really really really want to hurry up and start winning. Not just winning either, but destroying them in the Army-Navy game while still being a bunch of classy ladies and gents.

Admittedly, losing sucks. I’m not here to offer excuses for Army’s poor performance against Navy for a gajillion years in a row. I just want to remind everyone that there are worse things in life…like being in the Navy. Beat ’em.


  • adrienne328 4 years ago

    In conclusion, Navy still sucks.

  • andypandy_11 4 years ago

    i feel like i know the author!

  • Shige' 4 years ago

    This is one of the most fantastic things I have ever read. I kept being like, “There it is, that’s the best line of this post” only to be proven wrong 3 lines later. Hilarious perfection.
    And Navy still sucks.

  • Christine Hinkley 4 years ago

    I laughed until I cried reading this. Thank you!!! Go Army!

  • Mac 4 years ago

    Before I even saw your Oxford comma thing, I was thinking about the one you omitted in #9… NBD, article made up for it

  • Tubbs McLubbs 4 years ago

    Worst article ever. I hope you kill yourself.

  • Navy fan all the way!!!!! 4 years ago

    Go Navy keep beating Army! Ha, you guys are just jealous~ Keep it classy Midshipmen….

  • The Pirate Paul Jones 4 years ago

    I agree with the staying class part. When our player head butted the navy player after the whistle I thought “man, we’re classy… and we march good too, I don’t regret my decision to come to this school and eventually be shown up by the USMC when I get to Afghanistan. hooah!”

    • You're confused 4 years ago

      You clearly have a great understanding of the conflict in Afghanistan and the role of the USMC.

      • The Pirate Paul Jones 4 years ago

        You’re right… I’m confused and messed up when the USMC is in a land locked country and leads ISAF… When the army is supposed to provide the occupation services for the country…. It is my analysis that is skewed… If you’re playing along at home… That’s two Marine Generals in charge of ISAF. Are you even trying Army? I guess the Marines should attack from the sea… Except ya know… When things get too hard for the Army.

    • You're still confused 4 years ago

      How is that anything close to a good way to approach that question. How many times has the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs been a soldier? 9. How many times has it been a marine? 1. How many presidents have been in the Army? I’m not going to count but feel free to do so. Are you even trying USMC? Your argument is illogical and asinine… and yes, your analysis is skewed.

  • Squidguy 4 years ago

    This article exemplifies butthurt taken to a whole new realm, it is incredible how much of a loser you have to be to put this much effort to spell out your hatred for a service who has pretty much the same type of people as your service. Face it, not only you suck at football but you suck at life as well!

  • ThatDude 4 years ago

    I would like to point out that the Midshipmen all stood, removed their covers, and stayed respectful during your Alma Mater as well.

  • Jay 4 years ago

    I’m a midshipman and found this hilarious…but I definitely made the right choice! Beat Army!

  • Chuck 4 years ago

    And this is supposed to be a “classy” response to losing the game?

  • ItsJustJon 4 years ago

    I often hear our military and vets complaining about how society dumps on them and the nation they fight to protect are ungrateful for their service, and yet I see posts like this where they cannot even show respect to fellow servicemen, albeit from a different branch of the military. Is this like the proverbial black person who can say the n-word, but no one else can? At the end of the day, if one truly were the better person or a good sport, we wouldn’t see such posts such as this. This sort of competition is neither healthy, nor productive, and it makes the armed forces seem childish. But maybe that’s just the perspective of someone who is “just a civilian.”

    • Childish Army 4 years ago

      I doubt your misunderstanding has much to do with you being “just a civilian.” It is much more likely that you simply do not understand rivalries. Also, our military places a huge emphasis on this sort of competition. I would imagine this is because it is seen as both healthy and productive.

  • Kris 4 years ago

    haha sore losers

  • Jay 4 years ago

    Clearly Navy won the march on, above in headwork for properly tailgating beforehand.

  • Go Navy 4 years ago

    But in the end, Navy still won… 12 years in a row. Also, our coach didn’t get fired either the next morning.

    • ByeByeCoachE 4 years ago

      him getting fired helped us and was a good thing….so….yeah…..

      • The Pirate Paul Jones 4 years ago

        No… It wasn’t. Your problem isn’t coach e… He hasn’t been there for 12 years.

        Try hiring a west coast offense coach again, please.

  • Luc 4 years ago

  • Go Navy 4 years ago

    Navy just won in a million ways because of this condescending blog post.

    • Maryland_Mule 4 years ago

      It actually wasn’t condescending. It’d be condescending if I explained to you what condescending is…. it means I talk down to you.

  • Camille Blanco 4 years ago

    I assume this was meant to be humorous, so this Mid Mom will put her claws back in and laugh along. 🙂 But there were a few things you seem to have missed, like the part when the Cadets booed the Mids as they marched on, or the severed roasted goat head that some “classy” Army fans left behind the Mids’ section. That disappointed me having heard so much about the friendly rivalry. So proud of the Midshipmen that I know – incredible young men and women! I don’t doubt the cadets are just as impressive. Regrettably, they just don’t have as impressive a football team as the mids. 😉 GO NAVY!

    • KB2620 4 years ago

      It’s football. There is gonna be rivalry. It’s supposed to be funny, yet all of you want to take it seriously???

  • BDPears 4 years ago

    OK, so obviously you have issues. Losing 12 in a row doesn’t help. But let me (USNA ’86, 28 yrs service) discuss your “argument” point by point:
    10. So the hell what? And how does our personality “suck”, exactly?
    9. So the hell what? We should march for dozens of hours in whatever weather to get the last 10% of perfection? And your “sloppy” example is, again, spirit and personality (which, aside from your Colonel Ragsdale, seems entirely absent.
    8. If you’re going to make a point, please provide evidence, not internet clips. But you can’t say we’re undiginfied because of our spirit and sullen at the same time.
    7. So the hell what? I’m sure you could find similar footage of “Army guys” (to borrow your terminology) if you did another cursory search of the internet (which is probably where you got the clips you posted).
    6. Yeah, the whole world thinks Angora goats are scraggly and nasty. Wake up, please. And BTW, you’re snarking on OUR pants?!? Please look at the stripy messes your folks are wearing.
    5. I will give you some partial credit here; I don’t think our side was very dignified here. But your vitriol about our Alma Mater is unsat. I could make comments about yours, but I’ll have some respectful and withhold them.
    4. So you rag on us for having spirit (“flair”, etc.), but then you extol a bird colonel ranting like a nut?!? You can’t have it both ways.
    3. True, GEN Odierno is a bad ass. So what?
    2. Again, so what? Do a tour in the dirt, get a Bronze Star? That seems to be your point, especially since only ONE of them was for valor (honestly, the whole concept of a meritorious Bronze Star is absurd to me — if you aren’t getting shot at, you don’t rate a Bronze Star). Plenty of Navy grads have similar chests full of medals and tales of badassery in country. Please don’t think you’re unique that way. One team, one fight, right?
    1. Nice. Girly drink like Bailey’s & hot chocolate. At least put some WHISKEY in your hot beverage.

    It’s obvious that you have no idea about teamwork. We’re all on the same team — hadn’t you heard? I love Army. I want them to win 12 games a year (all but Army-Navy, plus a bowl win). I’m proud to have served for 28 years; never in the dirt, but our fighters seemed to have done a lot of work for you guys in Iraq and Afghanistan. And your OH-58 det on my frigate in Haiti was one of the best experiences of my career. So please grow up.

    • clumsybutterbar 4 years ago

      With all due respect, sir, this blogpost, as with every other by this fine woman, is in a spirit of sarcastic commentary on her life. I think I speak for everyone when I say that if the tables were turned, many a newly minted Navy grad would be voicing similar observations. No disrespect intended.

    • KB2620 4 years ago

      I’m glad you wasted that much of your life to post on this. It’s a joke that your obviously taking way too seriously.

    • Pull your head out 4 years ago

      Man… you have really lost touch with any sort of rationality.
      I am sure that this soldier will refuse to work with any USNA grad ever because they don’t believe “we’re all on the same team.”

      As a side note, I would hope that after 28 years of service you would have a little more respect than to go around bashing bronze stars and dismissing the idea of issuing them for merit…. Actually, Fuck the side note. This is my main point. How dare you. Go learn about what some of those soldiers did to earn those stars then come back and tell me they don’t mean anything. Tell me about getting shot at.

      I saw that you were begging to make sure your comment didn’t get deleted; you should think about deleting it yourself.

    • justthexofus 4 years ago

      You need to act your age. COL Ragsdale is a Saint and this blogger is hilarious. Navy Sucks.

    • Anastasia Kristina 4 years ago

      ew. it’s just a blog. it’s funny, lighten up! also, kelley is a girl, she is allowed to have baileys. in fact, anyone is, because it is delicious.

  • BDPears 4 years ago

    And I hope you don’t moderate this comment out of existence….

  • LOLATARMY 4 years ago

  • Grow Up Author 4 years ago

    Writes about how good sports they are…in an article insulting their opposing team’s school.

    I have not witnessed an overwhelming amount of class from West Point cadets. A friend of mine, who is a West Point grad, once brought up to me (out of nowhere) that SEAL Team six did not in fact have anything to do with the Bin Laden raid and that it was actually an all Army team. True (unlikely) or not, it was random and a sign of bitterness that is just a little to strong.

  • GoArmy 4 years ago

    Indeed, to all the Navy fans out there, this fantastic blog is all about witty sarcasm concerning the many absurdities of military life. This particular one obviously pokes fun at the Army-Navy rivalry, very much in the spirit of “you suck and we rule!” –a spirit which I’m about 99% certain just as many Navy fans as Army fans espouse, especially during the weeks surrounding the game. Roll your eyes, scoff at everything you find absurd, and go read a pro-navy post instead if this pro-army one upsets you so much.


  • ByeByeCoachE 4 years ago

    I still think #1 should have been firing Ellerson. Now that he’s gone we can finally do some actual winning! And I guess at navy they don’t issue them a sense of humor.

  • KB2620 4 years ago

    This just proves what assholes squids are. It’s a damn joke and you’re getting so but hurt over because you know it’s true. Calm TF down and get over it.

  • Armyarmyarmy 4 years ago

    You know how I know navy sucks? All of their extremely, seriously constipated comments. Grow up navy fans, it’ll all be ok I promise.

    • KB2620 4 years ago

      Tell it! They are seriously getting so upset over a small joke.

  • I'll be in the corner passing out chill pills 4 years ago

    WOW people! Just…wow. This blog is hyperbolic, which you would know if you had taken the time to read ANY of this fantastic writer’s other posts. Please take a moment to calm yourselves. The hatred some of you have displayed is truly appalling and insulting to the human race.

  • Anonymous 4 years ago

    lol, Army still sucks at football and will continue to suck beyond these past 12 years.

  • InfanDeus 4 years ago

    I find it fascinating that this silly, sarcastic article actually upset some people. Get a sense of humor, folks. It’ll help make life a little less stressful.

  • NotYourAverageSenatorsWife 4 years ago

    Sometimes a sense of humor is required to read things. I’ve read a lot of satire about army things and am personally glad to see something in Army’s favor.

    Ps. No one should talk negatively about baileys in anything. That stuff is amazing

  • 12 Years Running 4 years ago

    You for got numbers 11. and 12. from the past 2 years.

    12 years straight.

    • Beat the hell out of Navy 4 years ago

      Forgot is one word.

  • chiquitasticker 4 years ago

    You forgot the one KEY area where Army won HUGE……


    • Kelley 4 years ago

      Yes times a million. I have laughed so hard at this.

  • theseattlehouse 4 years ago

    “It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”

    – Charles Dickens

  • "Eytch" the Squid 4 years ago

    These are my personal views, and by no means represent the views of the Navy, Naval Academy, or United States Government.

    Ten Rebuttals from a Squid:
    10. The “flair” worn on the Naval Academy uniforms was not an optional thing. If the Commandant of West Point decided to make you all wear colorful buttons to show your school spirit, as the administration of USNA did for every home game this year, you would as well. Yes, they look somewhat silly on O-coats, but that does not in any way disparage the character of any midshipmen. In fact, the buttons demonstrate school spirit, or solidarity, or what have you, so I for one thought that wearing them was not very tacky at all.

    9. I admit that Mids are abysmal at marching. For one thing, we do not put the time into marching that you do for somewhat obvious reasons. Your academy has done parades forever; our academy does p-rades because once upon a time (late 1800s, post Civil War, if memory serves), a whoop faculty member on exchange in Annapolis convinced the administration that drill was the way to go. Also, the only midshipmen who need to be good at drill in their later careers are Marines (even though officers obviously don’t do it as much as enlisted), and I am certain that Marines are significantly better at drill than anything the Army can field (for reference, see the opening credits of A Few Good Men). Furthermore, comparing the front side of a company to the backside of a company, as you have done above, always presents a stark contrast, since, correct me if I am wrong, formations align from the front right corner. Also, the jeers from the army cheerleading squad weren’t all that professional, even if we did need to, “Fix Your Fucking Alignment!!” (Unknown whoop cheerleader, seemed like a nice person)

    8. Everyone in the stands at the end of the game looked like sullen teenagers, since it was raining ice water sideways. And I certainly observed multiple cadets sulking by the end of the game. Also, for the most part, the Midshipmen were standing and cheering for the whole game, not just the first half.

    7. Your point is unclear. It appears you are arguing that the Navy is worse because some of us have a sense of humor. Or perhaps you are inferring that these sailors are somehow representative of the entire Navy-Marine corps team? Whatever was the intended point, basing an argument on three gifs of the same two sailors is fairly unconvincing. But I’m glad you aren’t in the Navy as well.

    6. Last time I checked, goats are better climbers than mules, produce delicious dairy products, don’t take crap from anyone, and, perhaps most importantly in terms of natural selection, CAN sexually reproduce. All mules are sterile, load-bearing beasts of burden. Sure, a goat is not the prettiest animal by any means, but the scrappiness and resourcefulness of the goat is symbolic of the spirit of the Navy. To continue the metaphor, I suppose that makes the Army ornery and sluggish?

    5. I agree wholeheartedly that some midshipmen tend to act ridiculous when attending high-visibility events. We are given silly hats, buttons, and noisemakers and told to have a good time, and we do. But if raucously cheering on your team is not integral to the entire concept of sporting events, then what is? If standing at a position of attention for the entire game is “sportsmanship,” then the cadets failed as well. I did not observe a single midshipman remove any uniform items to display silly white t-shirts, something that was quite apparent from the West Point side of the endzone. Also, despite it being uncomfortable in the inclement weather, all he midshipmen that I could see from my seat near the back removed their covers for the singing of both Alma Maters, which I believe can be construed as respect.

    4. Colonel Ragsdale does seem like the man, and it was certainly a joy to see him display so much school pride and to get so into a game that was not very close. However, referring back to point 5, aren’t such shenanigans the very same that you scorned when you observed them in the Navy stands? Perhaps you are willing to exempt Colonel Ragsdale from judgment?

    3.General Odierno is doubtless a BAMF, and he certainly seems like an excellent officer, but we have two of our own exemplary officers on the JCOS, Admiral Greenert and General Amos, USMC. I have personally met Admiral Greenert, and can attest to the fact that he is awesome, even without the awe-inspiring build of General Odierno. Also, as demonstrated by his spirit spot, he has a sense of humor, which I at least think is crucial to an officer at every level of any branch of service. In terms of being able to kick a terrorist’s teeth in, General Amos has that handled pretty well. He could glare/yut a terrorist’s face off, and he’s an aviator.

    2. Once again I have the utmost respect for the Army heroes recognized during the game. However, your argument makes light of the shared service and sacrifice of Navy football players. The first Army or Navy football player killed in action during OIF was, you guessed it, 2nd Lieutenant Ronald D. Winchester, USMC. I am not by any means making light of the service of former Army Football players, but I am saying that you are making light of the shared sacrifice of both services.

    1. Congratulations, you went to a football game to get drunk, like any regular college kid in America. With all this talk of professionalism and military bearing, and you complete dismember your own argument with alcoholic libations. Now of course, you may point fingers and say, “But I’ll bet midshipmen do it, too!” To which I can honestly reply that I don’t know for sure whether any midshipmen went to the game sloshed or got that way as the afternoon wore on. However, I can state that neither I, nor the Navy, nor even the Army approve of such practice while acting as an ambassador of the military services. We, as future military officers, have been selected from among, “America’s best and brightest,” to lead this country into a better tomorrow. Of course, often as not we fail in this sacred charge because, for one thing, nobody’s perfect, and for another, the rest of our generation doesn’t have that responsibility. But that is the whole point. We have to strive to uphold a higher standard, because our nation deserves leaders who are willing to make hard choices, to bounce back from error with renewed vigor, and above all, set the example of what it means to be a citizen, a soldier, and a scholar.

    Of course, you may find my logic somewhat humorous and maladroit, my grammar ungainly, my spelling atrocious, and my vocabulary churlish. However, if this haphazard rebuttal prompts you to think critically, it will have served its purpose. I look forward to further discussion on this matter, should any be so inclined. I go on Christmas Leave tomorrow from the little public institution on the banks of the Severn, so I will have all the time in the world to field questions or comments from irritated Cadets.

    Also, congratulations if you made it this far. I only realized how lengthy this was on the final point, but decided it was worth it to finish.

    The best of Yuletide Cheer to you all,

    Squidshipman 3/C Crimson Chin

    • Will you write my milart TEE for me? 4 years ago

      “However, I can state that neither I, nor the Navy, nor even the Army approve of such practice while acting as an ambassador of the military services.”

      So…you don’t drink in civilian clothes when off duty?

    • Kelley 4 years ago

      Holy essay. Finals much? 3/C, huh? Well you can just call me ma’am till you commission and join the LT mafia 😉

    • A Rather Amused "Woop" 4 years ago

      “Of course, you may find my logic somewhat humorous and maladroit, my grammar ungainly, my spelling atrocious, and my vocabulary churlish. ”

      I want to hire this youngster to write all of my papers here at my “little public institution on the banks of the” Hudson. The instructors will be so lost in the long sentences and self-righteous tone that they will just end up laughing and giving me a passing grade.

      And last time I checked, spectators at a football game who are NOT attending either service academy are more than allowed to have alcohol. I think he missed the fact that Kelley is actually in the real Army – while he hasn’t even signed his commitment yet and is therefore a lesser Geneva Conventions Category than she. Why is everyone hating on the Bailey’s? It’s magical.

      I love squids.

  • BDPears 4 years ago

    Actually, I read the blog, and the rest of it is really good. It’s just this particular post that is filled with asshattery. The tone is quite different than the rest of the blog. Lots of venom instead of snarky commentary (which I’m all for). And I figured if she took the time to lay out all the ways we suck, I owed her some time to ask her why she’s so bitter and misguided about this particular situation.

    • Navy Still Sucks 4 years ago

      Navy Still Sucks.

      • BDPears 4 years ago

        That was not sarcastic humor 🙂

  • theseattlehouse 4 years ago

    “It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

    – Charles Dickens

  • theseattlehouse 4 years ago

    and to all I declare…

    “Come, then,” returned the nephew gaily. “What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You’re rich enough.”

    – Charles Dickens

  • The real issue 4 years ago

    Thanks Obama.

  • justthexofus 4 years ago

    Amazing! Go Army

  • Navy Still Sucks 4 years ago

    In other news, I’m really glad I found my class ring. I was starting to get worried.

  • Karina 4 years ago

    As a civilian, I am just going to smile, nod, and say, “Go military!”

    …I can’t go wrong with that, can I? 😉

  • Navy Still Sucks 4 years ago

    Whenever I need a pick-me-up I’ll just come and reread the squid comments on here that don’t have a sense of humor.

    • BDPears 4 years ago

      As opposed to your comments that do have a sense of humor? Riiiight.

      • Maryland_Mule 4 years ago

        No we originally came for the article with a sense of humor. Duuuuuh.

  • Navy 88 4 years ago

    Ten ways that have NOTHING to do with the greatest rivalry in sports. I look forward to seeing Army win again some day, not because I want Navy to lose, but to see you guys actually live up to your legacy lost for the past decade or so at least on the football field. Stop whining and just strive to support your team to win next year… I’m sure no one of integrity on your football team is posting these 10 things on the wall of their locker room for motivation… Go Navy! Beat Army!

  • Fly Navy 4 years ago

    Scoreboard. Douchebag.

    • Beat the hell out of Navy 4 years ago

      So comeback. Such insightful. Much wow.

  • ArmyCantPlayFootball 4 years ago

    sooooooo much butthurt for one article 🙂

  • Jonah 4 years ago

    –Sir, I’m happy you found 10 ways to make it feel like you won, even though you actually lost. Denying failure is clearly a sign of a successful officer.
    –Don’t even bring up General’s, we’ve got the Mad Dog.
    –Col Shea would eat COL Ragsdale, and She’s just the DepDant (Not Comm, or however you guys say it now)
    –We looked “sullen?” Please take a look at your stands:http://sharing.wavy.com/sharewdpp/photo/2013/12/14/APTOPIX%20Army%20Navy%20Football_4721248_ver1.0_640_480.JPEG
    As an Added bonus for that picture, we still have Niumatalolo

    And, for the love of all that is holy, this has never happened in the Navy:

    And it disturbs me that I type in Army QB, and the first suggestion is

    So, please do enjoy your 10 ways you “won.”
    I’m gonna go take some time to polish that shiny Trophy…

    • Beat the hell out of Navy 4 years ago



      • Kelley 4 years ago

        ^ THANK YOU. It’s like they didn’t even read it. I’m not a sir!

    • We don't want them 4 years ago

      Nobody knows any of the people you just listed.

      Also, when will Navy understand? Army fans didn’t like Ellerson. At all. Losing him is a good thing. Same goes for Trent Steelman. Cadets hate him and most question why he graduated.
      Army doesn’t have pride in either of those individuals.

  • Anastasia Kristina 4 years ago

    kelley you’re famous! also i love you! also haters gonna hate, this blog was fantastic and hilarious and you’re the best!

  • NAVY2015 4 years ago

    Firstly let me correct the comment on how the Army Cadets are more classy than we are. I am a current Mid at the academy and we just had one of the Cadets finish up a semester with us and let me be the first to say that they can be just as childish and goofy as we are at times, so no the Cadets are not more classy than us. I mean come on we are still 18 – 23 year old college students we like to act dumb sometimes. Secondly I love how we should work on our march on so we don’t look so sloppy, in that case Army should work on its Football so it doesn’t look so sloppy. 12 years of victory with a bakers dozen of wins over Army to come next year. GO NAVY, BEAT ARMY!!!

    • Duh 4 years ago

      I don’t think anyone would argue that Army should work on its football. That isn’t exactly a revelation.

      • USMA-Rah-Rah 4 years ago

        Army should work on football! Wow! Such smart! No wonder you’re at Navy!

  • Nonymous 4 years ago

    If this is a satire post, then the author is actually doing a pretty good job highlighting how worthless Army Bronze Stars without the Combat “V” are… (even a Navy guy knows a BS end-of-tour award when he sees one… “You were in the Sandbox suffering through the oppressive Air Conditioning at HQ while having to fight the artery-clogging Taco Tuesdays and BMI busting Baskin-Robbins, so here’s your Bronze Star”)

    • you clearly understand 4 years ago

      Oh so you have read the citations for those awards and the rest of their military records?

  • army got beat 4 years ago

    Great article, the only counterpoint I would make is that while you rag on the “flair” of two buttons on the mids overcoats… come on, I’ve seen the army uniforms.. it’s like a rainbow threw up on them with all the wild ribbons, patches, and cords hanging off it.

    • take it from me 4 years ago

      You could not possibly be more off base. Cadets wear at most an NDSM and a couple of skill badges around post. Their uniforms are sterile at public events like parades and the Army/Navy Game.

    • At least we ain't in the Navy 4 years ago

      Cadets have never, and will never, wear flair. It just looks stupid.

      • BlowMe 4 years ago

        Cadets don’t even wear real army uniforms. Their whole “uniform” is flair.

      • Parker 4 years ago

        No, they wait for the ridiculous amounts of meaningless bling until after they’re commissioned.

    • James bordeno 4 years ago

      Navy looks like a bunch of guys having fun. Army all discipline

    • Navy sucks 4 years ago

      Not a valid argument, especially while navy midshipmen proudly wear medals for marksmanship.
      Cadets don’t earn medals for properly operating a weapon, we are just allowed to graduate beast barracks.

  • La Armada Kid de Los Angeles 4 years ago

    God this blog post could’ve been so much funnier than it was. And it started with such great promise.

    There are SO many ways we collective squid suck at all the aforementioned military bullshit – something both Mids and alum secretly take great pride in. None of which has anything to do with actually doing your job in the military. Nonetheless we’re all proud of you for writing about the obvious.

    But it could have been good! Goddamn you for making me read until the end – the good never came!

    Alas, in the end, like just like your uniforms, your school when it rains, the personalities of just about every Goddamn Whoop I meet, and this fucking football rivalry (until Army gets a good football team), it was BORING, safe and predictable.

    Go for the jugular!!!

    Or locate your nearest Navy Exchange and buy a new set of balls – I think they all have the latest models. If you don’t know where one is, head toward the closest beach or seaside resort, we probably have a base there. Oh, and if they’re sold out, find any female Squid. Most of ’em have extra. They’ll lend you a pair.

    • Aimee Cantero 4 years ago

      Excellently put! Sad that bitterness ruined what could have been a great article.

  • Dan 4 years ago

    This whole article is genuinely laughable. My favorite part was the picture of two cadets riding a mule nut to butt in an attempt to make fun of the goat wranglers. There were a few similar parts of this article but that one was the best for sure.

  • Bernice Bowers 4 years ago

    The rest of the country sees Army and Navy collectively as heroes. Please recognize this. Reminded of my dad (USMA 39) and his best friends (USNA 39 and 41). They set the bar high (WWII, Korea, Vietnam). Great to have athletic rivalry. Better to focus on Air-Land-Sea doctrine and solidarity. You make us proud. With my best, Bernice Glenn Bowers, daughter, wife, sister-in-law, and mother of USMA grads, and Princeton 83 grad. Privileged to know Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine heroes.

  • Sleepless in Annapolis 4 years ago

    Really a classless and immature commentary that does shows no appreciation for the awesome spirit of the greatest game in sports. As I have feared for a few years, Army’s lack of success have turned you into…well….Air Force?

    This rivalry is based on mutual respect. I cheer for Army football 11 games a year and love the Corps of Cadets, though I admit that the thought that much of the Army base feels like you makes me ill…

    If you want to hate someone…hate Air Force. If you understand service academy football, then you know that they are pompous ones…though maturity has even softened this for me…I have met many very intelligent, thoughtful and empathetic USAFA grads in the past few years.

    This isn’t about having a sense of humor either…believe me I have one…I needed it to get through three heartbreaking close losses to Army while I was a mid.

    Your commentary is nothing, but adequate grammatically…there is no great wit or insight and as stated early you demonstrate zero understanding of the nature of the Army-Navy rivalry.

    Fair winds and following seas,

    • Sorry you are so confused 4 years ago

      You don’t get it.

  • Rob 4 years ago

    Funny at times, bitter throughout. While I can appreciate your pride in having graduated from that place, let’s not pretend that a USNA grad couldn’t write the same thing (with the same examples: http://blogs.hudsonvalley.com/hudson-valley-photo-blog/2009/01/13/bean-tavy/). You won’t find such a thing because we won the last 12 games, but still. Oh, and BT-dubs, a bronze star without a combat V is just a MSM that happened to be awarded in theater. The way the Army gives those things out you’d think it was for… never mind.

  • Jimothy 4 years ago

    My Dear,

    I had it in my mind to write a thoughtful, well-reasoned counterargument down here. I was going to valiantly defend you against the comments above (as well as the many more I’m sure were not allowed to be posted due to their, “colourful” language or implications). But that would be missing the point just as sorely as these losers (pun intended). As anyone who has read your blog knows, the posts are, in addition to being hilarious, written tongue in cheek and self deprecatingly. What all of these Navy-defenders are missing is the soul-crushing depression every Army fan feels at the conclusion of this game, and the sardonic way we’ve developed (over the past TWELVE FRIKKING YEARS) to help ourselves come to terms with it. I mean, please As someone who spent four years of my life, attending Castle Grey Skull, and trying to be as non-military as possible in the process, I fully appreciate the irony in my own declarations that we’ve “won” the march-on. (That one’s for you, Armada Kid). All I’ll say is that it’s both petty and laughable that supporters of a Service Academy whose members will go to war in the near future, want to get offended about our attempts to make us feel better after they won the game anyway. I’m sorry they can’t take a joke. Lets all keep this in perspective people. Kelley’s post was pretty funny, mildly insulting, but eminently respectful. We are in fact all on the same team hear, and if we can fight shoulder-to-shoulder with you guys, in spite of being beaten for more than a decade in football, I’m sure you can rise above having your feelings hurt and do the same. In fact, I know and appreciate that you can, having just returned from a deployment myself in which I worked closely with Naval AND Air Force personnel. Go America.

    • Lisa Glubber '09 4 years ago

      I LOVE YOU BOTH Jimothy and Kelley!!!! GO ARMY, BEAT NAVY.

      To all of you squids (aka Army haterz) it’s just fun, athletic rivalry. If you’re angry, you’re taking things way too seriously.

      • Aimee Cantero 4 years ago

        Not every person rooting for Navy is an “Army hater”. My cousin happens to be the Color Guard Commander at West Point right now. My husband is Navy. He and I agreed I should be rooting for my husband’s team. 🙂

  • FormerMid 4 years ago

    This was pretty funny, and I am a USNA grad. Here’s the deal though. I went into the Marines after graduating USNA, and then I went and trained at Ft. Sill (ahem, where we Marines graduated at the top of the class, despite making up less than 10% of it). Everything you’ve just said about sloppiness, nastiness, FLAIR, can be totally applied to the nasty Army compared to the Marines. Oh, but that’s Ft Sill you say. All the nasty West Point football players went into the artillery, you say. Well, I’ve seen the Army in Afghanistan and Iraq, too. Sure, you’re good at your jobs, but srsly you be nasty. Also, all due respect to my man Odierno, but you’ve gone and made a flipping FLEECE some kind of legitimate outer uniform item with nametag and rank? This is preposterous. You take flair to a whole new LEVEL compared to two innocuous buttons on the outside of a classy-ass winter coat. The ENTIRE U.S. ARMY LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF LITTLE JROTC GENERALS. I hear Applebee’s is hiring.

    • Navy Trials Not Just at See 4 years ago

      See you at Applebee’s.

    • eh? 4 years ago

      Lol. Sometimes I joke with my friends that “they said Army Strong, not Army Smart.”

      But Marines take that to a whole new level. If you want to think freezing your ass off in the cold makes you a better person, cool. I guess they don’t say “Marine Smart” for a reason either.

      • Walt Miller 4 years ago

        We don’t have make up crap like “Army Strong”.


  • 12 Years in a Row 4 years ago

    You obviously know nothing about what being classy means. Stop being a sore loser, you sound like a six year old throwing a tantrum! You make the cadets look bad.

  • Patrick Snyder 4 years ago

    Hillarious! Thanks!

  • Iris 4 years ago

    My ex-husband was Army. My son is a Midshipman. Enough said.

  • I 4 years ago

    Oh come on! I can’t believe the haterade these navy people drank! This blog is always amusing and fun. It’s never been a serious kind of place. There is always an element of truth though. Army does always win the march on! ALWAYS! Also, Army does have some BAMFs in the leadership. They just do. With a legacy like Grant, MacArthur, etc, you’re just destined to attract and turn out more fantastic leaders. Not to mention, USMA is the superior University. Just compare their ranking to USNA. As far as the other things, goats are gross and those buttons were an eye sore. That was the first thing I noticed! Those awful buttons ruined their beautiful blue uniforms. Yes, that’s right, I think the navy’s uniforms are pretty. Dear squidos, take a deep breath and relax. It’s not the end of the world. You still won the game for 12th time in a row. You can’t win everything!

  • USNA12 4 years ago

    This article is basically: Hey Navy beat you again… “Oh yea?! Well… your face is stupid!” This is definitely a whiny 6 year old. Not a future Army Officer. Leave it all on the field and let the game decide, don’t attack the fans (Especially nice old ladies). Seriously, who does that?

  • 12moreyears 4 years ago

    What’s all this talk about all mids ending up floating on ships? 2013 graduated 270 Marines compared to 250 surface warfare officers. Not to mention the 315 aviators…

  • Better Luck Next year 4 years ago

    I enjoyed your article. But I enjoyed Navy’s win more. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before That. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that And the one before that.

    • Navy Trials Not Just at Sea 4 years ago

      I enjoy the Washington Post articles each week. “Naval Academy head must testify about his court-martial decision in alleged rape case
      Published: December 13 A military judge Thursday ordered the superintendent of the U.S. Naval Academy to appear in court next month to answer questions about his decision to put two former Navy football players on trial for an alleged rape.” And the one before that: Navy investigator pleads guilty in defense contractor bribery case. And the one before that: Scandal Widens Over Contracts for Navy Work. And the one before that: Navy SEAL in court for sale of government property charges. And the one before that: Who’s who in Navy bribery case: Quick guide to the people named in ongoing investigation. And the one before that: “Naval Academy graduate allegedly attacks 3 Walt Disney World employees The Navy Times reported that although Navy officials did not respond to personnel inquiries on Monday, Hill’s name is listed on the 2012 Naval Academy graduate list and a biography using the same name and birthday appears on the football section of the Navy’s official athletics website.” And the one before that….. If Navy didn’t win the game, the PAOs would be on suicide watch. Stay classy Navy. We’ll fight the wars. You party and play the games. The grownups will take care of business for our Nation. USNA produces real winners.

      • THE INTERNET KEEPS RECORDS? 4 years ago

        3 former Special Forces soldiers plead guilty in Army fraud case, Soldier charged with 2nd Pa. home invasion robbery, Guardsman accused of taking Army IDs to stay in custody, Army captain charged in pedestrian soldier death in Tenn, Military Investigates West Point Grads for Pervy Rugby Emails, West Point superintendent misused his office, Pentagon report says, and my favorite Army fires Ellerson after 5 years, no wins vs Navy.

        Congratulations I have basic knowledge of technology and can find scandals as well. Each branch is filled with them.

      • Navy Trials Not Just at Sea 4 years ago

        Dec 17. “Ex Navy Lacrosse player charged. Virginia Beach, VA – A United States Naval Pilot stationed at Naval Air Station Oceana has been arrested on charges relating to an alleged online relationship with a 13-year-old Bedford County girl.” USNA 2005. Maybe, Internet Keeps Records, your vast tech expertise could lead you to note how many stories involved officers, much less USMA grads, vs enlisted, as well as the severity of these allegations. Agg Assault, pedophilia, rape, bribery by Ship Captains, Director of Naval Intelligence relieved, NCIS Senior Agent convicted, etc etc. Navy bribery scandal widening. Those are officer corps and USNA issues, not a DUI or enlisted issue. Sorry, but Navy has huge problems. Maybe recruiting marginally qualified players for football isn’t one of them, but Navy couldn’t even win a single Rhodes this year. The Navy is imploding morally. It’s more than filled with scandals. It’s rupturing at the seams. Good luck with sports. It’s your niche. While I hope you are one of the honorable Navy men, it’s not exactly been a great year for the Naval officer corps if you would open your eyes.

      • Ben 4 years ago

        See post below on how entirely unimpressive the Army was in my experience serving with them. As an officer it’s all about the people under you, and nearly zero E-9s and O-5s and above comprehended this concept. I don’t deny there are bad apples in the Navy ranks, but overall we know how to treat people, a concept with which the Army is wholly unfamiliar.

  • Anvil 6 4 years ago

    Looks like you got deep under the skin of the Goats – May it be said: Well Done! I’m just amazed that there are that many squids out there computer literate enough to craft responses to your blog. What do Annapolis Middies and West Point Cadets all have in common? They all got accepted to Annapolis.


      Annapolis has a lower acceptance rate? Every one of my friends from high school who go to West Point currently got turned down to Annapolis.

      • USMA-Rah-Rah 4 years ago

        Just because USNA is smaller! And if you’re a real Army brat, there’s no settling for seconds such as USAF or even scrapping the bottom of the barrel to be at USNA.

  • NotAnotherSenatorsWife 4 years ago

    If you don’t like the blog then don’t read it. I don’t understand why that’s such a difficult concept to grasp.

  • Ben 4 years ago

    Welcome to Soreloserville, population you. GO NAVY! PS I served in Afghanistan TACON to an Army command and I’ve never seen E-9s treat their people more like crap than the Army.

  • Ray 4 years ago

    The bonus point should include the fact that none of our fans looked like “ship heads” by wear these ridiculous foam things: http://news.yahoo.com/photos/navy-midshipmen-wear-foam-ships-heads-watch-navy-photo-185409715–spt.html
    I saw several Navy fans wearing them.

  • lisaandie 4 years ago

    Everyone from navy commenting negatively on this, and bashing this girl who is just trying to show some Army spirit after we lost to navy, again, is proving that they aren’t actually “classy” and “above that behavior.” This was purely made for comical reasons, and to ease Army fans over the fact that you guys beat us again. It’s embarrassing to them that they feel the need to comment rudely on this when they have absolutely nothing to prove, they already won. It just shows that YES Army has much more spirit. If you guys don’t remember, this was a sporting event. And what comes with sporting events? Rivalries. Many NFL/MLB rivalries go on throughout the year. In my opinion, Navy needs to be more mature. And if i’m being completely honest, I was at the game. Your march on was honestly embarrasing and pathetic to watch, you guys looked like you didn’t give a shit about coming onto that field. And your “spirit” and “enthusiasm” was shown up by the cadets at Army BIG TIME! Ya you might have won the game, but Army displayed much more grace and class throughout the game then Navy did. This blog was made to be funny and to show some Army spirit, because even after they lost, we’re still proud of boyfriends,, families and peers who go there, and always want to support them, just like you should do if Navy were to lose!

  • grunt 4 years ago

    Why Army really won? now our lieutenants wont have as large of heads as their ensigns when they finally do something productive. This is why I always root for Navy even though I’m in the Army, because cadets become the worst sort of butterbars, the ones that believe they know what’s going on.

  • The Army Team's The Pride and Dream 4 years ago

    You forgot to mention how much better looking cadets are than midshipmen! And how we always, ALWAYS, win at uniforms.

  • Navy Still Sucks 4 years ago

    You navy mids are scum bags. You sit here and rant about this article but it speaks the truth. Yes it has some arguments that aren’t strong, but the underlying principle still remains and that, put simply, is that navy sucks. You obviously weren’t at the game if you believe that the brigade of midshipmen showed any potential of being an officer in our military. Sportsmanship makes a good leader and an officer. Navy was lacking that. When you see 4,000 plus people yelling “12 more years” following your Alma Mater and your loss, then you will begin to understand how that was a slap in the face. Their behavior didn’t reflect that of a brother helping a fallen comrade up from a stumble, but more like a playground bully shoving a kids face into the dirt. We understand your football team is better, but we corps of cadets have absolutely no control over that. So when you mids sing and dance while mocking us at the same time, we feel nothing but hatred towards you. I hate the midshipmen, they are indecent and immature goat lovers. They, as a brigade, have become pompous and arrogant because they live in the shadows of a legacy they take for granted. One day we will win, and we will show the brigade the true behavior of a winner…. calm, cool, collect, but most importantly, respectful.

    • Ben 4 years ago

      I’ve served with the Army (TACON to an Army command in Afghanistan)… They have no clue on how to treat their junior personnel. Unless you’re an E-9 or O-4 and above, you were treated like scum. I had the pleasure to light up a couple sergeant majors (I’m an O-4 so I was ‘allowed to’) because they were blatantly disrespectful to all junior enlisted, NCOs, and junior officers alike. In fact, let me say it was a pleasure serving with virtually all E-1 – E-8 and O-1 – O-4…. E-9 were pompous asses and O-5 and up were political stooges. BTW, the USMC has the highest standards and capabilities of any service around, and if you don’t automatically realize this you have no experience or no clue.

      • JarHeadsBossedBySquids 4 years ago

        I am certain that those Army Sergeant Majors simply were quaking in their boots at a MARINE MAJOR (OMG!) lighting them up. Yes. Indeed. Or, maybe it was just laughing that caused that.

      • Ben 4 years ago

        I’m a LCDR (yes the Navy is BOG in Afghanistan in case you were oblivious.) Point is that regardless of what my rank is (and I have nothing on my conscience of how I take care of MY people) Army Sergeant Majors are pompous asses who make dope deals outside of the CoC and think they run the world. Their job is to make sure E-1 – E-8 are ready to do the mission, plain and simple. But some sought to bypass the S3 and try and do their own ops, and going off on MSGTs in the process. I was happy to tear into them for doing so, and yes they were at attention and they walked off tail between legs. I dot go off on anyone, but they earned it.

      • Scott 4 years ago

        Usmc has the highest capabilities of any service??? Not even close bro. That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read. Thanks for that….reminds me if usmc squad leader in Helmand a few years ago without nvgs because they didn’t have enough for everyone in their squad, but he had “trained his eyes to see at night, so he didn’t need nvgs”…sure, good luck with all your capabilities. Also, good luck training artillery and armor folks, oh wait, you have the army do it for you…

        • Ben 4 years ago

          The Army is phenomenal at getting in their own along with everyone else’s way.

  • BEAT ARMY!! 4 years ago

    BEAT ARMY!! oh wait we did… again!

  • GoNavy 81 4 years ago

    The Twelve Wins of Navy (so far)

    On the first day of Christmas Navy gave to me a 58-12 victory
    On the second day of Christmas my rivals gave to me the shiny CIC trophy
    On the third day of Christmas my rivals gave to me another CIC trophy
    On the fourth day of Christmas my rivals gave to me another CIC trophy.
    On the eighth day of Christmas my rivals gave to me another CIC trophy.
    On the ninth day of Christmas Navy gave to me a 31-17 victory.
    On the tenth day of Christmas the Big Game gave to me another Navy victory
    On the eleventh day of Christmas Steelman gave to me a fumble for a Navy victory.
    On the twelfth day of Christmas Keenan gave to me a one-sided Navy victory.


  • Navy Trials Not Just at Sea 4 years ago

    Let me add a note. I don’t think Mids are scumbags. It’s not a Mids fault that corruption, felony conduct, being show offs and rapists is A OK at Navy. That’s Navy officer’s fault. But let me add this. This fall, I rode on a flight into Westchester NY Airport with Admiral Lynch, USNA, Ret. who was in all his glory on Saturday. He apparently is associated with various USNA foundations providing unofficial prep schools for feeding recruits to Navy football. Is he former Supe? Or just Navy football? At any point, he sat next to my 10 year old. A kid who is very sick. A kid whose dream of going to West Point like his brother has been shot down by Crohns Disease. A kid with an older brother at USMA, which he, unfortunately said to this less than a man. A kid who knows nothing of Navy except what he then experienced. Lynch, in USNA civilian garb, from shirt to cap, started in on him. I was three rows back. Lynch, began to tease, then bully this little boy, over the period of an hour. At the end, John, age 10, was in tears. A punk 65 year old Flag Officer kept at it. Yep. Some of that “flair” on display. Lynch pointed to his flair button “Beat Army Again” in front of the other passengers (all of them being adults except dear Admiral Lynch). Red faced, my 10 year old sat there, next to a bully. Not a gentleman. Not a man who should behave like a grandfather. But a small person, USNA proud, ragging on and on and on a 10 year old, who was coming to visit a young man who is more of a soldier, more of a man, more of a leader, than Admiral Lynch could ever dream to be. I’ve never behaved like that in front of an aspiring Middie. Two weeks ago, a young man aspiring to Navy was terribly injured in a car wreck, still in a coma. Knowing that he had been at Academy day and was interested in Navy, I got the USNA liaison officer to get a Navy pillow for his NICU room, and delivered it myself. I’ll never forget the conduct of Admiral Lynch, nor that of most of the “Brigade.” It’s one thing to win. It’s another thing to be a winner. And Admiral Lynch is the biggest loser I’ve ever met. I have no respect for the USNA Supe to allow this never ending scandal that is Navy Football to be commissioned, to claim title to the name Naval officer. Navy has lost its way. At the end, as John sat red faced, Admiral Lynch shoved a finger in his face and shouted, “Tell ya brother, in all four years, Army will never win a game!!! Heh-he- heh!!” This is verbatim. Well, Admiral Lynch, from the looks of your behavior, in the next 40 years, Navy football will never have any winners. Just losers. Regardless of the scoreboard. True story. Verbatim. Let Navy win. Forfeit every game. Because no matter what Navy football ever does, I’ll never respect them again, as their leader, their symbol, Admiral Lynch, made it very clear to me what USNA is all about. If you Squids want to say “leave it on the field”, your conduct, your videos, your Admirals, your players both current and graduate, are not making Navy a place to be proud of.

    • J Frog 4 years ago

      Hearing the entire section of midshipman chant “12 more years” as West Point football players stood there immediately after honoring them and their alma mater was pretty damned disturbing. Classless is how I would describe it. Those chants have been there every year since the streak began. I was there with the cadets for a 5 year stretch of West Point winning in ’96 and nothing close to that kind of behavior ever happened. I know it was at the end of a football game, but it still makes me think less of those midshipman in general.

      • Oh Really? 4 years ago

        A class of ’95 grad just talked about you guys doing the same thing when she was there check that out a few posts down.

    • Kate Dooley 4 years ago

      Wow, this is shocking. Adm Lynch was my Supe and was also the center for Roger Staubach. I’ve never known him to be anything but a gentleman, and I can only hope if he knew how he made your son feel he would be on his way to your house now to beg forgiveness. No little boy, sick or otherwise, should be belittled, and as hollow as it may sound I would like to offer my apology to you and your son on behalf of Navy fans.

    • not real story 4 years ago

      Nothing has ever not happened as much as this didn’t happen.

      • Navy Trials Not Just at See 4 years ago

        Sorry. But it did. Maybe it was alcohol. Maybe it was Lynch going into enemy territory. But it did. I was stunned.

      • Navy Trials Not Just at Sea 4 years ago

        Sorry. It did. Wife a witness. Seat B. Seat C. He saw Admiral Lynch on the field during the Patriot Games presentation. Not Kate’s fault, nor cause for a classy person like her to apologize. It was just pretty sad. A life lesson for a 10 year old. Just sad.

    • Noshot 4 years ago

      Yeah, that absolutely did not happen. Also, research the Football rape case. We are pursuing trial even though the head investigator said there wasn’t enough evidence to justify it… So much for just commissioning them regardless. We did commission the senior, who had been romantically involved with her previously.

      • 12 More Beers 4 years ago

        What’s more disturbing? The slander against Admiral Lynch or the fact that you didn’t do anything while your boy was crying? Seatbelt sign on or something?

  • Kate Dooley 4 years ago

    This post is funny but also made me sad. I graduated from USNA in ’95 and suffered through three losses to Army. I remember how the Corps chanted “Oh and 10!” to us my plebe year (we were winless before beating Army that year). But besides that there was genuine respect between the Corps and the Brigade. We wanted to win, always, but we reserved our hatred for Air Force. It sucks that the rivalry has become so one-sided and the games so boring (except last year, which you should have won). I watched the game in a bar this past weekend in Germany with some recent Navy grads. And I have to say they were arrogant. That takes the fun out of it for me. I was an exchange mid at West Point and loved it and went to Airborne at Benning and have nothing but respect for the Army. I also know with certainty I chose correctly when I picked Navy (stationed in San Diego twice–nuf said). But I will always respect West Pointers. And I hope your team does improve because those games decided by just a point or two in the 90s were the best I’ve ever seen. I want that back.
    Oh, and you’re right about the march on. We totally suck at that. 🙂

    • JarHeadsBossedBySquids 4 years ago

      Classiest comment yet.

      • Kelley 4 years ago

        I agree! You’re spot on, ma’am. Thank you for your service. (And for actually getting the joke!)

      • Scott 4 years ago


  • George 4 years ago

    Let’s see how much you hate the Navy when you’re pinned down by enemy fire and their fighter jets are the only thing that keep you alive.

    • JarHeadsBossedBySquids 4 years ago

      That may someday occur, but only because Army aviation ran out of ammo in not only main guns but M4 carbines, and Marine CAS crashed their planes directly into the enemy position. Of course, waiting for the Navy O Club to sober them up and dispatch them to fly into all these landlocked countries will take a while, don’t you think?

      • Semper Deep! 4 years ago

        Don’t you worry, our subs will darken the skies with tomahawks and make everything okay.

  • BeatArmy 4 years ago

    So you got your ass handed to you for the 12th straight time and didn’t like it…how about putting your energy into fixing the problem? Your smug, whining blog post won’t change the scoreboard. I hope USMA restructures the athletic department into a 503 similar to NAAA and can afford to hire a competent AD and first-rate coaching staff, because it hurts USNA when Army football sucks. A-N used to be (and I hope will again be) the best rivalry in sport, but it’s currently missing a key ingredient – competitiveness.
    Turn it around, soon…A-N is headed towards what Navy-ND used to be, and that’s sad.

  • JDM 4 years ago

    Hey guys, this is seriously getting beyond embarrassing, for both sides. The guy above was trying to make a lighthearted jab at us, and both sides have taken this too far… if this thread got out to media, both sides would be incredibly ashamed, and all of you have your emails tied to your posts.

    To thread owner, TAKE THESE DOWN!

    Here’s asking at least the insult hurls to stop, and those with the disrespectful posts to take a step back, take stock, and take down those shameful comments. I love hurling lines at Army as much as they love throwing them back, but for my part I can say that the only thing I have seen this month more miserable than the weather at the game, was this thread. We should all be ashamed it just happened.
    Go Navy, Beat Army.

  • Corps 4 years ago

    So you have a cool colonel? Wait, but you still lost, right?

  • Army EOD 4 years ago

    Wow. Finally made it through all the comments. Everyone needs to take a breath and chill–especially those actively serving one branch or another. This is a hilarious blog. It’s a joke. It’s not meant to offend. Rape cases, conduct of admirals, and the merits of close air support have exactly nothing to do with this blog. I’m sure you’re all wonderful people. Stop acting like you’re not all serving this country with pride, discipline, and respect.

    • El Marino Loco 4 years ago

      Army EOD,

      Right On!

      I am a USNA alumni (Class of 1976) who took a commission in the Marine Corps. I now have 25 years working for the Department of the Army.

      This blog site is all tongue-in-cheek.

      I’ve SEEN more Navy, Army, and Marine Corps jokes than have been tossed out here.

      So what?

      All the services draw from the same pool of people. They just choose different uniforms. At the end of the day, we are all in this together.

      The Army-Navy rivalry goes in cycles. Navy has had the advantage the last several years, but the roles have oftentimes been reversed. I am always glad when my team wins, but I have never rubbed it in on my Army counterparts.

      What I find remarkable is all Service Academies manage to field teams that continually compete against top-tier college football programs year after year. This speaks to the dedication and determination of our Midshipmen and Cadets who take the field against teams to whom they are oftentimes overmatched. This is the symbolic meaning I associate with the football programs.

      I will continue to look for healthy rivalry.

      And less trash talk.

  • IHaveHadSinging - J 4 years ago

    As a former grad I only have two things to say in response to this post.

    1. The consumption of alcoholic beverages leads to many problems that we and our NCOs deal with on a regular basis. I applaud the stadium for not having Bailey’s with their hot chocolate. One less SIR for the weekend. That being said, there is nothing wrong with drinking. It’s excessive drinking that’s the problem. Drink responsibly!

    2. That hat is awesome! I’m making mule hats and selling them. Mass production, here we come! I can’t wait for you to buy one.

    Miss ya much. And you other two glubbers I saw in the comments section as well.

    • Kelley 4 years ago

      But they had beer, so it’s not like it was a dry stadium. And stadium beer is gross. Bailey’s is delicious!

  • Semper Fi 4 years ago

    What a bunch of losers. Who would think that a rivalry football game is about everything else except the game. Can you imagine Alabama fans claiming victory over Auburn this year because their fans stood at attention in the concessions line. Or Michigan claiming victory over Ohio State because their fans looked better. At Navy, we learned there is “No excuse, sir.” At Army, they must be teaching you, “I have a lot of excuses, sir.” You need to embrace the sucking Army. You spend 4 years sucking at WP and then graduate into an organization that sucks as well. Navy spends 4 years kicking Army’s ass and then graduates into the finest fighting organization in the world. It was one of your own, Gen. Douglas MacArthur who stated, “I have just returned from visiting Marines at the front, and there is no finer fighting organization in the world.” Suck on that!

  • Jh 4 years ago

    Finally Army dumps their pathetic coach. Oh and stop blaming a decade of fighting war for your loss. No one frame either side is engaged in combat while they are in school. Recruit better players Army, duh.

  • Phil Brennan, CDR, USNA 78 4 years ago

    I feel your pain since when I went through four years at NAVY, Army beat us for all four years!! Get over it and enjoy the suck!! After all, it’s just a game!! Sand while bragging rights are on the line, it shows all of the other ratbastard civilians that we know how to compete on the field and embrace our differences off the field and still be head and shoulders professional brothers and sisters in arms serving this country, a concept lost on most of those we serve……..

  • Walt Miller 4 years ago

    Read some history. Odierno was one of the main players in the Abu Ghraib torture scandal as CG of 4th ID. He sucks.

  • Walt Miller 4 years ago

    More on Ray Odierno: “The history dryly noted that the Marines, “despite some misgivings,” turned over the area to the 4th Infantry Division and departed April 21. “Stores that had re-opened quickly closed back up as the people once again evacuated the streets, adjusting to the new security tactics,” the final draft of the history reported. “A budding cooperative environment between the citizens and American forces was quickly snuffed out. The new adversarial relationship would become a major source of trouble in the coming months.”

    In July, a member of a psychological operations team attached to the 4th’s artillery brigade, which was known as Task Force Iron Gunner, filed a formal complaint about how its soldiers treated Iraqis.”

    Gen. Odierno was professionally unqualified for command. Typical Army guy.


  • Matt 4 years ago

    Which part of this blog even remotely led you to believe this post was serious? So serious that the writer would have to go “check up on her history” before posting. That also goes to the vast legion of butt-hurt responders, this I’m sure was meant to be just a fun bit of trash-talking. Relax a bit so you can go back to posting these inane comments on yahoo news articles.

    • Walt Miller 4 years ago

      Glad to have you on the record, Matt.


  • Tom 4 years ago

    Comments attacking the professional character of our sister services, particularly in a public forum that anyone can access, make military officers look like a group of immature teenagers. We should be better than this after over a decade of war.

  • IRDaNavy 4 years ago

    Quick, someone call the “Waaaaaaahmbulance”, an Offucir dun be tryin ta thunk smart thoughts about a football game that no one outside of the Academy students remotely cares about.

  • Militaryspouse--231 4 years ago

    Hahaha! Good game, Navy. It’s all in Good clean rivalry. And good choice with the baily’s. 😉

  • Sucks to suck 4 years ago

    You really hate yourself don’t you?

    • Navy00 4 years ago

      34-7, 27 reasons ARMY actually lost. If you are wondering what that Commander and Chiefs trophy looks like, your welcome to swing by some time.

      • eh? 4 years ago



  • 二学生 4 years ago

    So, as a Mid, I’d just like to post my opinion on this too. I apologize if anyone gets offended by this, but I can’t control it so I won’t really care too much.
    In the order this blog lists things:
    10. Much of the current Brigade hates the pins, myself included. Many of us recognize that if we didn’t have the pins, we could use that money for something else and we wouldn’t have to wear flair on our uniforms to football games.
    9. From what I gather, most of the Brigade cares very little about Marching onto the Field at any point in time. It’s probably just easier to notice at this game.
    8. I’m sure that you all got a considerable amount of wind, snow, cold, sleet, and rain, but from where I was you looked about as sullen as we did.
    7. There’s no excuse for that. We call it boredom and I’m sure that Army personnel feel it too.
    6. Yeah, the goats are pretty grody. Just don’t call them demon animals. Even as a joke. They want to be at football games as much as any animal likes to be tied up and held in place. At least, they look like they do.
    5. After we win games, “Blue and Gold” tends to get pretty rowdy. From where I was though (which I can’t say was a very visually advantageous position this time), Midshipmen were standing at attention, covers off and some were even singing along. Again, I wasn’t in a good enough position to see most of the Brigade, but from what I saw, Mids were being pretty classy.
    4. I’m not sure if we have anyone as spirited as COL Ragsdale. You win that one.
    3. We’re supposed to know a bunch of notable graduates, but people like FADM Nimitz and VADM Stockdale are kind of dead…
    2. I won’t be the first to admit that many of the football players from Navy aren’t among our top performers in any realm other than football. I won’t say where they fall short, but you can imagine considering the many areas we train in. Even in the Fleet, a lot of guys “Five and Dive” so it’s easy to say that there aren’t many role models for current football players.
    1. Last year, a few Mids got in trouble for drinking while on duty status (yes, A-N counts as duty status for Mids), most of them were underage. That whole Bailey’s thing could get people kicked out of USNA.
    Bonus: We have a lot of ridiculous stuff. Bill the Goat Pillow Pets are $20.

    Anyway, I know it was a joke, I just wanted my opinion on here too. I have a few friends at USMA and my family has a nice split of Army and Navy so I couldn’t care less who won. I’m just glad I got a weekend out of it.

    • adrienne328 4 years ago

      As a “whoop”, I like this reply 🙂 And I hope you have a goat pillow pet, because that is excellent. If we had mule pillow pets then I would totally get one. (By the way, I can vouch for the fact that the author never drank during the game when she was still a cadet – same rules apply to us)

  • rivals: 1, brothers:364 4 years ago

    My “name/subject” says what I’m thinking. Some of this was funny, but a good bit of it was just not how officers should conduct themselves. You “hate” Navy? Well, they’re your brother/sisters at arms and are fighting/dying to accomplish the same mission as you: to keep America free.
    I texted my two good Army friends after the game, one’s an Army cadet, one’s an Army 2nd LT, both will be in my wedding party. The officer took it with a grain of salt: “yeah, well: our march-on still looked way better and we’ll get you next time.” The cadet was butthurt just like you. Instead of responding to her intense antagonism and rudeness, I responded saying “I love you, too.” It took her a while to respond after that, but she eventually said “Alright, I went a bit too far. Just talk to me again in a few days when I’ve cooled down.”

  • Navy00 4 years ago

    34-7, 27 ways Army lost, let us know if you want to look at the C&C Trophy, we can make it available for viewing.

    • Walt Miller 4 years ago

      It’s the Commander IN Chief’s trophy. Not an C ampersand C. Jiminy cricket.


  • CadetmomMidaunt 4 years ago

    I’m cracking up at the indignant Navy replies. Come on people – this was a funny piece of fluff. Get over yourselves. I laughed until I cried reading this blog, and I’ve got Army AND Navy in my family. Great writing… keep it up!

    • Kelley 4 years ago

      Someone who gets it! Thank you!

  • Looking for after party? 4 years ago

    Does anybody know where I can find a decent “toga and yoga” party anywhere?

  • ShowMeTheMoney 4 years ago

    I don’t know if anybody is still reading the comments on here, but just in case someone is, here’s a short response. I know this blogger. I went to school with her. And I’m a Navy alumnus. She’s a very smart and funny officer, and this blog entry was meant as a joke to poke fun at Navy because she is a West Point alumnus. Obviously Annapolis and West Point have a long-heated rivalry that has been known to elevate tempers and invite angry words (and sometimes fists), but some of the comments on here are quite ridiculous.

    That being said, readers should understand that the “Mistress of the Motor Pool” was merely jesting for her audience, composed of primarily West Point graduates and family/friends. As one of the few Navy graduates that has spent time at BOTH West Point and Annapolis, I can honestly say that cadets are really not that different from midshipmen. The only major difference is the inculcation of separate and unique histories and traditions. The two service academies serve two very distinct purposes; one to train future Naval and Marine officers, and one to train future Army officers. Consequently, the academies have very different priorities, curriculums, and traditions. Ultimately, these differences have a trickle-down effect on the attitudes and actions of service academy graduates.

    Joking is all fine and dandy, but some of the comments to her post are actually really hurtful and crazy. They’re not representative of all Navy fans and graduates.

    • Kelley 4 years ago

      You’re a class act squid and a great American, my friend. 🙂

  • USNA76 4 years ago

    A “funny” article? How many times to use the word “hate” before it takes the edge off the funny side. Don’t think I’ve ever read a “sore loser” writeup more unfunny. The only upside to the article is that the comments are worse. I’m assuming that some of you realize that we’re all in this together. Supposed to be on the same team in the big scheme of things.

  • Dusty Larson 4 years ago

    Wow the butthurt is strong with this one.

    It’s a stupid football game…who cares?

  • Jeanette Grayeb-Mihal 4 years ago

    Very insightful, and hilarious.

  • Jeff 4 years ago

    12 More Years!

  • economicdeveloper 4 years ago

    Reblogged this on economicdeveloper and commented:
    I love this blog article… I support my Cadet and I am super proud of him. Mine is a class of 2017 first year Plebe but he rocks as do all the Cadets at USMA, West Point.

  • Scott 4 years ago

    You are the poster child for the unimaginative loser, nerdy boys that attend west point. Your school’s embarrassing sense of self respect and school pride is on national display each year you let the mighty midshipman walk all over you on national television. This blog is just another failed, half hearted attempt at something funny and original that you can be embarrassed about. Please encourage the next generation of west pointers to aspire to be something better

    A united states citizen that happens to have attended THE academy

  • Thomas - USNA 4 years ago

    Wow. I assume this article is SATIRE?!

    Get out your notepad, it’s time for a lesson, WHOOP. (12 years of football beatings apparently isn’t enough)

    First things first- I have to be honest. I really try not to hate West Point, or Air Force for that matter – I actually turn on my TV weekly in hopes that they both beat up on other “normal” schools, and lose only to the SUPERIOR (in frankly every way) academy. It’s too bad to read that you hate my college, alma mater, and pretty much all that we stand for… But ignorance is bliss, and it’s no surprise, especially when you reference class in your article. (which leads me to my next point)

    I’ve been in 3 altercations in my life involving college football. (Impressive if you consider I’ve been to at least 100+ games) What is embarrassing and disgraceful is that 2 were with Army cadets after they stole an item from off of my person and one with Chair Force for the same. This past weekend, I was cursed at 2 different times, just passing cadets waiting in line to get into a bar simply for wearing a suit, tie, and Navy scarf. (A simple Beat Navy works too, but wasted Army Cadets? Surprise surprise) My scarf was eventually stolen, from behind-completely unprovoked (never saw the robber before that moment), which was immediately recovered by my father and me – but not before a cadet punched my 59 year old dad (and retired senior officer) in the chest for “grabbing his friend” (the scarf crook). Class? Hah. There are three letters that apply to your kind in the world clASS, and they aren’t CL… (Both of the other altercations were from cadets “attempting” to steal my cover… You guys are 0-3 with my property too btw. CLASS! HA)

    What’s worse is I travel to PITT, UD, NotDam, IU, etc and never even a comment other than thanks for your service. Good luck today. Get a clue Whoops – talk to girls (or guys in your case) and quit STEALING crap in bars. You’re only away from that prison you attend for so long- why waste it getting beat up by … Me?

    You name drop? C’mon, that’s like telling Jordan telling Lebran he sucks at basketball?! (Yes, I actually respect your college enough to cal you Lebran – 2nd best Service Academy). But from Staubach, Bellino, and Ross Perot, to John McCain and VADM Jim Stockdale – We have some of the finest alum to ever walk the halls of any college, so pump those brakes too.

    Anyway, I loved your satirical article and your sense of humor, actually believing that army won at anything… BUT, I realized, there are a few you guys CHAMPION: the worst personality contests, worst haircut contests, ABSOLUTELY the worst spirit spots EVERY YEAR, and most distant service academy from “real, normal, humans”… Good luck the next 12 years. You’ll need every bit of it. GO NAVY.

  • Steve 4 years ago

    This article sucks. So army won, sounds like you have to cover your ass after losing 12 years in a row. By the way… Know Brian Stann? Navy Football player and earned Silver Star award in the USMC. Army gives out bronze stars for building camp fires. Typical army.

  • Bob 4 years ago

    Forbes would agree…p.s. 7 is better than 28.

  • Johnny 4 years ago

    Here’s a concise answer to your less than classy discourse: http://dguts.blogspot.com/2013/12/ten-ways-navy-won_20.html

  • SWO Navy 4 years ago

    Is that your hand in the photo with the Bailey’s? If so, I can surely say sparkly fingernails with polka dots may be allowed in the Army, but certainly not in the Navy. Good reason not to be in the Army.

  • USNA '76 And Proud Of It 4 years ago

    Sore loser – the bottom line is: Check out the scoreboard! NAVY 34 – ARMY 7. Oh, I should mention one of my incidents that took place at an Army-Navy game several years ago in Philly. I was standing and cheering for Navy and this Army alum yells at me, “sit down, four eyes!” Really classy!

  • Alex Plechash USNA '75 4 years ago

    Wow! I have been alternately tempted to ignore this thread or to jump in with both feet. However, as I thought about it, there is so much misinformation and insulting commentary contained in the original post and subsequent string of comments that I finally decided it was time to write something. It’ll be long, so I hope you all stay with me here.

    I am a 1975 graduate of USNA and a retired Marine officer. My classmate, ADM Jon Greenert, is the current Chief of Naval Operations. I am also a Blue & Gold Admissions Officer; President of the largest geographical Chapter within our Alumni Association; and an elected member of our national Board of Trustees … the point being that I have a natural and vested interest in public comments made about not only the Naval Academy but West Point as well.

    For what it’s worth, I love my West Point brethren and speak highly of them and their alma mater in all circumstances. I have a great deal of admiration for the institution and the members of its Long Gray Line. I have little, if any tolerance for vicious trash-talk from USNA grads. People who know me, know that about me. And, notwithstanding what I am about to write, I DO have a sense of humor. It’s just that this is not funny.

    If the initial article was meant as satire, it widely missed the mark. I certainly did not take it as satire when I first read it and only became aware of the fact it was considered satire by some people after I had read through many of the posts. Maybe there is some history of satire on this blog with which its adherents are familiar. But, to someone who stumbles on this article without any prior history, many of the comments made in the original post, and certainly those posted by many of the commentators, were petty and even vile (sadly, even from some USNA grads) – clearly unworthy of a service academy graduate. I’m sorry Kelley. This is not satire, no matter how much you believe that it is.

    Examples of low class or non-satirical prose in the original article –
    “BAMF” – nuf said. Not to mention that there is little argument that the most effective U.S. combat force is the Marine Corps-Navy team or that the most elite among the special forces are the Navy SEALS.
    Calling midshipman “ass clowns” – very classy.
    FIVE successive uses of the word “hate” – “I hate Navy. I hate their team. I hate their songs. I hate the way they whoop at us. I hate their ugly goats.” – That is supposed to be satire? Really?

    Comments by others (mostly hiding behind anonymous monikers) –
    “You navy mids are scum bags.” “squids are assholes” – Nice. Real nice.

    Or Anvil 6 who wrote “What do Annapolis Middies and West Point Cadets all have in common? They all got accepted to Annapolis.” Not only is that factually not true, the reality is that it is verifiably easier to get into West Point than Annapolis. I have never once seen a case where a candidate got into the Naval Academy and not West Point if they applied to both. Conversely, I have seen at least half a dozen cases where the opposite was true.

    Or uniform comparisons? Really? How many people actually think Army uniforms look better than Navy uniforms … let alone Marine Corps uniforms?

    Or, how about the “redirects” among posters who veer off the sports and get down and dirty pulling up scandals among Navy ranks? Not only do they have nothing to do with the topic but they bring up serious issues that are not only damaging to service academies in general but are also not limited to any one service academy. There are scandals across the board; not to mention that all of them are anathema to the service academy ethic to which we would ALL agree.

    To all the commentators who used the words “Navy Sucks” or words to that effect. Tell me – at what exactly do they suck? Certainly not football or most any of the other sports at which Navy regularly beats Army. Or in academics (remember, I am a Blue & Gold officer and see candidates who apply to both institutions). Or in military effectiveness (a whole different subject). But, given that this post was about football, I’ll stick to sports for the moment.

    To be blunt – Navy athletics dominates Army athletics and it has for quite some time. Don’t believe me just because I say so; check it out for yourself.

    The difference between Navy’s and Army’s athletic programs is most clearly evident in football, but it extends to the entire array of sports played between the two academies, the most recent being Navy’s sweep earlier this month in Swimming & Diving whereby the Navy women’s team extended their winning streak to 25 and the Navy men to 23 straight wins. You might say “it’s natural for Navy to be the better team in aquatic sports, after all they’re ‘squids’” – but the same has been generally true in almost all sports over time and that points to a broader issue at West Point than just its football program.

    Point of fact – the All-Time Army-Navy record has Navy leading 975-745-40 in all sports going back to the very first time Army squared off against Navy which is a .565 winning ratio. But, the series record in the past 18 years (which, in addition to the current year, is the only other period published) has widened the margin at 249-128-7 or a .615 winning ratio.

    Navy currently plays Army in 23 varsity sports and in 4 of them (Volleyball, Men’s and Women’s Basketball, and Baseball) they play twice, one game being designated as the “star” game. Of those 23 sports, Navy leads in 17 of them. Army currently only leads in 5 sports (Volleyball 43-10; Rifle 42-30; Gymnastics 43-33-2; Women’s Tennis 4-0; and Men’s Track 44-43) and there is one tied series – Women’s Basketball at 30-30. The most lopsided long term series is in wrestling with Navy leading 47-5-5.

    In the “star game series” (the school with the most star game wins in a year), Navy is 16-0-1 over the last 17 years and 30-3-2 over the last 35 years. But, Army is coming back it seems. The Mids were 12-10-1 against Army in 2012-13 Star Games and as of today, the series this year is tied at 5-5 (including the results of the football game).

    I root for Army at every turn, whenever they are not playing against Navy and I look forward to the day when Army once again has a great football program. When Navy loses, which it eventually must, I will be genuinely glad for my West Point brethren and congratulate them on their well-fought win.

  • Gregg Burgess 4 years ago

    I loved the Why Army Won post. My grandad was a 1927 West Point grad, my brother is a 1976 grad. My grandad took us to an Army Navy game at JFK back in 1968. It was cold, as usual, and there was a big puddle of water across the corner of the end zone. During the march on, the Cadets marched right through the water, the Mids jumped over it. The Mids looked like a bunch of sheep (or goats). But I imagine that the Cadets with wet feet are still suffering to this day from their frost bitten toes. Anyway that was the day I made up my mind where to go to school.

    Gregg Burgess, USNA 1978

    • Kelley 4 years ago

      There may have been a few lost toes that day for sure! Thanks for reading and thank you for your service, sir.

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  • weshinego 3 years ago

    This sort of Buzzfeed ripoff only works when you’re shitting on a powerhouse (i.e. Notre Dame/Alabama/USC).

    – Navy’s fans aren’t fickle, bandwagon-jumpers. They typically have ties to the school, Annapolis, or the service.

    – Navy doesn’t enjoy recruiting advantages over Army–they’re both service academies.

    – Neither school really out-spends the other. Again, they’re sister academies.

    – Both schools field undersized athletes. Navy’s just mastered the same triple-option offense that Army recently adopted. (Navy went 2-10 in Paul Johnson’s first year. Things should turn around for Army soon.)

    – Donkeys are majestic? “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

    Didn’t Army lose to Ivy League “powerhouse” Yale this year? Holy shit, I Googled it, and they did. Direct your rage elsewhere.

  • pitthull 3 years ago

    OMG — are you really serious? It is only a football game — one that we have dominated lately — but still just a game. You won in every way but ONE?? Well — unfortunately for you — that is the only ONE that counts at this time! Take your sour grapes somewhere else — remember — the Navy has their own Army — they’re called Marines — and I’ll take 1 Marine over 5 Army soldiers any day.

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