Browsing Tag:

Disney

How to Shop at Disney World

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If you like shopping and you love Disney, but you also enjoy a life in which you do not carry a balance on your credit card and would like to continue living with a roof over your head rather than a bridge, you might it difficult to shop in a reasonable manner while visiting The Most Magical Place on Earth.

Having recently experienced this most glorious form of First World torture, I have come up with four tips to assist others who may have likewise struggled with this issue.
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Three Wedding Lies (as told by Disney)

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I have fallen short on my promise to provide updates (as sort-of-kind-of promised here) concerning wedding planning this year, but life has been pretty hectic. Doing most of it myself, however, has taught me a thing or two about the wedding industry, confirming most of my suspicions about the racket they’ve got going. One thing I hadn’t thought about recently, though, were all the ridiculous things Disney sneakily slipped into their wedding scenes in their classic cartoons. Well I’m onto you now, Disney, Continue reading

Locked Out of Heaven: How to Diet Like a Pro

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Yesterday I heard Bruno Mars wailing “Locked Out of Heaven” on the radio. I can really relate.

No, this doesn’t have anything to do with pent-up sexual desire, unless my desire for chocolate and trans fats has some kind of sexual undertones of which I am unaware.

It has to do with dieting.

Hearing the song brings to mind “Be Our Guest”-type visions of Reese’s cups rotating with beautiful precision, surrounded by fudge squares and chocolate-covered pretzels frolicking in delight in front of waterfalls of white, milk and mint chocolate. There are cookies bathing under the mint chocolate waterfall. They become thin mints. They are beautiful. A glass of milk appears. I am salivating. YOU MAKE ME FEEEE-EEEEL LIKE, I’VE BEEN LOCKED OUT OF HEEEAAAAAVEEEEEEN!

Oh God, this is sexual, isn’t it?

Okay, well, regardless, the fact is I need to drop a few pounds. I haven’t been good lately about sticking to a calorie count or getting enough exercise to make sure that eating a little extra doesn’t really matter, so I decided to return to a method that worked when I was in high school – the dessert purge.  I would go two weeks without desserts to sort of cleanse my palette of super sugary foods so I could get myself back on track and cut out those extra calories too. In the past when I did it, it was only the first few days that sucked, and then I’d lose some weight and go back to eating desserts. No big deal, right?

Incorrect. Continue reading

My Greatest Life Failings in a Covered Wagon on the Oregon Trail (sort of)

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Dear potential readers who may potentially never materialize,

Having now received enough outside validation, it is time to take the plunge into the big, scary river of blogging. I have decided it is a river and not an ocean or a pond or something because (a) I like the who-knows-what-she’s-gonna-write-today-JUST-AROUND-THE-RIVERBEND-YAY-POCAHONTAS imagery it conjures in my mind, and (b) if we ford at too deep a crossing location, we will drown like in the original Oregon Trail and so now there’s an element of danger too!

But don’t be scared. We are all in this theoretical covered wagon together. To make you feel a little more at ease about embarking upon this journey with me, I have decided to tell you something about myself that I think frequently but don’t often tell people. Continue reading