Browsing Tag:

con leave

write ALL the things

Coming Soon: A Blogging Update PSA

6

The year was 2009. Maybe it was 2010. Either way I was in my first two years at West Point and there were some rough days. I used to wait eagerly for Tuesday afternoons, when Allie Brosh updated her blog, Hyperbole and a Half. I’d try to read the new entries slowly, but they were too funny, and I would end up reading them as fast as I could, then read them again more slowly, savoring them, enjoying the illustrations, laughing so hard I cried. They made me so happy.

And then there were the weeks she didn’t update on time. Or at all.

I’d read old entries. I’d refresh the screen idly, hoping that maybe a new entry would appear. I’d drool on my keyboard, praying to the gods of the Internet to be kind.

Eventually she stopped updating, consolidated her cartoons into a book (which I own, duh), and now many of her cartoons are memes so ubiquitous that people don’t even know their origins. (Last week someone referred to her “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS” self-portrait from her entry, “This is Why I’ll Never Be an Adult” as “the girl with the fire stick, haha that one is so funny.” What. That is not a girl with a fire stick; that is Cartoon Allie Brosh with a broom, you ignorant wench.) So that’s that. Continue reading

How to Have Hip Surgery

4

I recently had hip surgery. To be precise, I am nine weeks post-op and I am tired and sore all the time. (I also no longer think in terms of months. My hip has become like an infant to me. It is nine weeks post-op. Not two-ish months since I had surgery. Nine weeks post-op. The damn thing is basically still in diapers, breastfeeding, and not sleeping through the night, okay?)

“What happened?!” people will ask when they see me crutching around.

“I had hip surgery,” I will reply.

For some, that’s enough. Others want more detail: “But what did you do to yourself?”

The short version is I got hurt doing a lot of hooah-hooah Army training that isn’t well-suited to someone with my body type (i.e. Hips Don’t Lie). I was subsequently misdiagnosed, ignored, and sort of half-treated by a stream of doctors, physical therapists, and technicians for three years, and I finally had surgery to repair the issue, which was that the bones in my hip joint were rubbing on each other and tearing up the cartilage. They shaved down the bone to make the femur rotate properly in the socket and repaired the torn labrum.

Ta-da! Good as new!

If your curiosity has been sated, then my story is over. If you would like to learn more about the broken Army healthcare system and the anatomy of the human hip, this is the long version: Continue reading