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Wedding

Bridechilla: On Having Some Work Done

3

Thus far I have failed to provide you with any great stories about the experience that was Our Big Fat Lovely Wedding. And this is a damn disgrace, because it was filled with adventures and characters galore.

Let me start with some thoughts on the pre-wedding beauty routine.

Brides are supposed to be beauteous. This is a given. The media tells us so. If you think you can just show up all chubby and pimply-faced for THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE, you better think again, little miss. Because as soon as that shiny ring from your betrothed is on your finger, people are going to start asking you questions.

Top question:
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Three Wedding Lies (as told by Disney)

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I have fallen short on my promise to provide updates (as sort-of-kind-of promised here) concerning wedding planning this year, but life has been pretty hectic. Doing most of it myself, however, has taught me a thing or two about the wedding industry, confirming most of my suspicions about the racket they’ve got going. One thing I hadn’t thought about recently, though, were all the ridiculous things Disney sneakily slipped into their wedding scenes in their classic cartoons. Well I’m onto you now, Disney, Continue reading

In Which I Become Affianced

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The time has come, dear readers — the time at which my Pinterest wedding boards become legitimate, and I realize I can’t afford most of the absurd things I think princesses should have at their weddings (fireworks, elephant rides, and a puppy as a favor a la Bridesmaids being the most disappointing).

Yep, I am interrupting this regularly scheduled program to announce that I have become affianced to Manfriend!

A lot of little girls spend their whole lives fantasizing about their weddings. I’m not really into floral arrangements or cakes that look better than they taste, though, so my wedding plan was basically this: I manage to look ethereal and virginal and old-Hollywood-sexy all at once. He’s tall (sorry short guys of the world, but you were just not a part of my wedding fantasy) and shmexy. My whole family is there. There is a ton of food and some of it is grilled cheese and all of it is delicious. Then there is dancing and merriment and probably ice sculptures and enchanted fountains. A fairy grants us three wishes for our marriage. Then we fly away on a magic carpet to start our happily ever after.

Really solid plan, right? Continue reading