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Coming Soon: A Blogging Update PSA


The year was 2009. Maybe it was 2010. Either way I was in my first two years at West Point and there were some rough days. I used to wait eagerly for Tuesday afternoons, when Allie Brosh updated her blog, Hyperbole and a Half. I’d try to read the new entries slowly, but they were too funny, and I would end up reading them as fast as I could, then read them again more slowly, savoring them, enjoying the illustrations, laughing so hard I cried. They made me so happy.

And then there were the weeks she didn’t update on time. Or at all.

I’d read old entries. I’d refresh the screen idly, hoping that maybe a new entry would appear. I’d drool on my keyboard, praying to the gods of the Internet to be kind.

Eventually she stopped updating, consolidated her cartoons into a book (which I own, duh), and now many of her cartoons are memes so ubiquitous that people don’t even know their origins. (Last week someone referred to her “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS” self-portrait from her entry, “This is Why I’ll Never Be an Adult” as “the girl with the fire stick, haha that one is so funny.” What. That is not a girl with a fire stick; that is Cartoon Allie Brosh with a broom, you ignorant wench.) So that’s that. Continue reading

Recently Read: “Go Set a Watchman” by Harper Lee


If you’ve been stuck under a literary rock somewhere for months and haven’t heard all the buzz surrounding Go Set a Watchman, let me fill you in:

One-hit-wonder-authoress Harper Lee has published a “new” book (i.e. something she wrote in the fifties but is just now being released). For those of us who are fans of To Kill a Mockingbird (i.e. everyone ever), this is great news.

…or is it? (Ominous ellipsis, dun dun DUNNN.)

Some say it never should have been published, and there has been great debate concerning the book’s origins.

If you haven’t gotten a chance to read it yet and don’t want your opinion of the book at all influenced by others’ reviews, get a copy and read it first. I read it knowing only that some people were saying it SUCKED AND THE WORST EVER AND THEY HATED IT AND COULD BARELY GET THROUGH IT AND SHE RUINED ATTICUS but had no spoilers or indications about the plot’s direction other than the sensationalist media coverage, and I liked it that way, thank you very much.

If it doesn’t matter to you and you’re going to read it anyway, great. If you weren’t planning on reading it in the first place and you just like reading people’s conflicting opinions, by all means, read on.

Continue reading

Rude Responses to Rude Questions


Since getting married, I have been asked a lot of rude questions.

I was not really aware of it at first and just sort of fielded them as they came until I realized that certain questions were repeating themselves with increasing rudeness and frequency.

I have, therefore, come up with the following list:

RUDE ANSWERS TO RUDE QUESTIONS I HAVE BEEN ASKED SINCE GETTING MARRIED (with bonus reactions both internal and external)
Continue reading

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program


Welcome to the new site!

Get cozy, look around, feel free to put your feet on the coffee table (I know it’s bad manners, but mine was only $25 at IKEA so I always do it anyway). It’s not terribly different from the Mistress of the Motor Pool website, so hopefully you won’t get lost. I’m still settling in, so if you see any bugs let me know. If they’re cute, anthropomorphic bugs I’ll befriend them and turn them into a mascot or license them to Pixar. Otherwise I’ll squash them. Or call an exterminator.

The main change you’ll notice is the blog’s name. I haven’t worked directly in a motor pool in a while now, so I felt the title had become somewhat misleading. My brigade technically still has a mistress of the motor pool, but she is tall, slender, and quite athletic, so we have somehow never been mistaken for one another. (I don’t understand it either.) Also I changed my name so my blog had to also. For solidarity’s sake. Continue reading

In Which Being a Grown-Up is the Worst


When I was a kid I thought grown-ups were so boring.

Either that or they were just pretending. Surely they were just speaking in some kind of unfathomable grown-up code. Nobody could actually be interested in the mundane topics they always seemed to be bringing up voluntarily, could they?

Wow Bob, looks like rain.

Sure do need it, Susan.

You know that’s right, Bob. Continue reading